Oz Dating

Pundits and commentators have long been saying that the huge rise in the use of online communication such as e-mail, live chat, and vidoeconferencing has contributed to the erosion of relationships and the lack of empathy. It seems they may have a case, with two Amercian studies showing that while these online methods make connections easier and quicker, they are not as valued as those maintained offline.

In the past there was a very strongly held cultural view that men were not only physically stronger than women, but emotionally stronger as well. That stereotype has certainly taken a battering over the years. If anything, it seems that women are often more emotionally resilient than men.

And some recent research confirms this perception. It seems that women cope better with relationship breakdown than men, mainly because they tend to have more close friends who supply much needed emotional intimacy and support.

Quite often research confirms something that most of us know already from personal experience. Here's an example: A study carried out at James Madison University in Virginia has confirmed that when it comes to dating, men are more in it for no-commitment fun, while women tend to look for long-term, committed relationships.

William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man". Not only is this a memorable line, beautifully worded. It's also very good practical life advice - particularly when it comes to relationships.

This was confirmed in a recent study in which people who felt they were being most true to themselves turned out to be the ones who had the most satisfying and healthy relationships.

The Lara Bingle nude photo scandal - and subsequent highly publicized interview with Woman's Day - has ended up creating a total train wreck. It looks highly likely to end up destroying her relationship with Michael Clarke. (That's something I thought was likely, but didn't expect to happen quite so quickly.)

Interestingly, as this article states, Clarke was less annoyed with the photo in question than the dredging up of all that old stuff about a previous relationship with Brendan Fevola. As anyone who's had a few dates knows, it's a real drag when someone keeps talking about their ex. It shows that they haven't quite moved on from it yet! The fact that Bingle was telling the whole nation about it must have magnified the negative effect a thousandfold. No wonder Clarke wants out.

While Lara Bingle is claiming that she is suing Brendan Fevola because she felt violated by those nude shots of her in the shower, it seems that her desire for publicity is paramount. And while Fevola himself clearly wouldn't be too happy about it, I can imagine that Bingle's beau Michael Clarke must find the legal stoush all very stressful as well. Who would want to be emotionally involved with someone who is exacting revenge against a former lover, and in such a public way? Wouldn't you want to "move on" and try to build something meaningful in the present? (Of course, you could say that Fevola's leaking of the shots - if that is what actually occurred - was an even lower act. That's true too. Still, why give the issue any more oxygen?)

While Lara Bingle herself clearly thinks that she's doing the right thing, it will cost her in the long run. I suspect that her current relationship and maybe even subsequent ones will suffer greatly because of this and related issues. When you continue to exploit your private life for public exposure (and ultimately monetary gain) you end up trashing your own soul, and hurting people who are close to you.

Here's another case of dating sites being used as a source of information about relationship behaviour: In a study about what men and women preferred in potential partners, Welsh researches discovered that age was a very important factor. Dating site data overwhelmingly revealed that men preferred women who were younger than them, while the inverse was true for women. This strongly contradicted the currently fashionable image of older women with toyboys, which occurs only rarely in real life.

Every now and then a hugely rich older man marries a beautiful and much younger woman in a flurry of media attention. The latest example is the highly publicized wedding of millionaire Dr Geoffrey Edelsten and Brynne Gordon at Melbourne's Crown Casino, which cost several million dollars.

His young bride - who is around forty years his junior - obviously appreciated all the attention. But I feel sorry for the husband. How is this guy going to maintain this level of luxury and lavishness. If he doesn't, she might start to get bored!

Up until now Tiger Woods seemed to have a perfect life. He was by far the best in the world at what he loved to do, with more money than most people even dream of and a beautfiul wife and kids. How could he not be perfectly, blissfully content with his lot?

But if the rumours about why he had his recent car accident are true, then he definitely wasn't happy, and was having an affair.

It seems the urge to stray - particularly in young men - seems almost impossible to contain, no matter how conducive the circumstances are to fidelity.